Tuesday, July 18, 2006

i am clicking my heals but not going home...

toto help... my magic shoes are not taking me home. i want to go home.

I am so frustrated. I don't quite know what to do. I am at my in-law's house during this transition from washington state to texas. And we have been here since july 2nd and will be here until july 30th. I have two dogs, they are wonderful dogs, but they are house dogs. My in-laws have two dogs but they are hunting dogs/working dogs. so they stay outside. well my dogs have now been forced to spend all day and all night either chained up or penned up outside. and the days have gotten up to 109degrees here. my dogs are not used to it. they are getting used to the heat, but still they are suposed to stay outside. they used to be allowed in the guest room with us, but it has been hinted and slowly have been perminantly put outside.

well, now, toby's aunt has allowed the family to borrow her camper trailer for second half of june and all of july because of all that has been going on. Toby and i started moving out to the camper last night, but for some reason, all of a sudden we are not allowed to have the dogs out there either even though they were allowed out there during the first week of july. his dad says it is because the aunt is allergic to dogs and dog hair. well aunt and uncle have a little poodle who's hair is longer than either of my dogs. my dogs are house/camper trained and very good. according to toby's dad, my dogs have no place in this house or in the camper. we were moving out there to get out of everyone's way.

my dogs are my children. it feels like no one likes my dogs or wants them around, which makes me feel like that too. his family is a dog loving family, but apparently not to my dogs. this all makes me feel like me and my dogs, my children, my sanity when my husband is off on deployments or training, are not welcome or accepted or loved.

i had already told the family i was going to vacuum and steam clean all ulpulstry and carpet and detail it basically.

i am about to go to a motel where i can have my dogs sleep in the same room as me. but we don't have enough money right now. we have 200 bucks until next paycheck. SHIT!!!

ok end of my bitch fest

Saturday, July 15, 2006

nope. not my day

It could have been anyone else's day but mine.

I got an hour or so for the renewal of the vows... blessing of the rings.... unity candle.... and then the rest was not us, it was everyone else.

I just want to scream, yell, cry, run, anything. And my husband isn't here for me right now.

ok going to go continue being invisible since i always am to him while we are at his parent's house...

My Day or NOT

So today is suposed to be MY day. It is my wedding/elopement reception today at my in-laws house. I swear my new sister in law is trying to ruin the day by fighting with her mom incesantly. It is getting to the point of driving me nuts. And it surely does not currently feel like it is MY day. Hopefully by 6pm when it all starts it will.

We made a trip back up to washington state to finish getting the house ready for the market and to pack up the rest of our stuff. When I got there my gas had been turned off which meant no hot water for 3 days while we were there. At least I didn't have to call them to disconnect. But I still didnt like the idea of no hot shower, so instead I heated a wet wash cloth in the microwave and bathed that way. . . thank god for my Dutch heritage... glad i have learned to be innovative... everyone else took ice cold showers. HAHAHHA.

We are back down here in New Mexico now, and I am looking forward to the 28th when we drive to Fort Hood and sign in. I am ready to have our own place again and live by our rules. But I guess that is what comes with going to visit family. And I probably have more of a difficult time since I did not grow up under these rules. Toby will probably think my family's rules are nurotic.

And I shouldn't BITCH because they are doing a lot of the stuff for the reception.
I am excited to open all our presents and what not. we have a few right now, and hopefully more. Expecially all my kitchen stuff. I love playing in the kitchen!!!

One thing that made it my day was the wonderful package i received from my SECRET PAL. I got lots of unique candies, a cool pencil, a fun pen, two sheet protectors so i can put my paterns in them and keep them safe, neat keyring/zipper fob, a notebook, and this totally AWSOME doll. She is so Beautiful, and as soon as i get my house unpacked in Ft. Hood, i will totally put her in my display case or on my entertainment system so i can see her all the time. This is by far the coolest present i have ever received from a secret pal!!!!! THANKS SECRET PAL YOU ARE SUPER DUPER COOL!!!
and i figured something out... she is in JAPAN!!!! another totally cool thing.

well better go take a shower and get all primped... hopefully things will turn my way soon... not trying to sound spoiled, but it is my day, mine and toby's.